What I Wish I Knew About Babies…Newborn Stage Advice from a Toddler Mom

This post may contain affiliate links. This means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only share products I truly love or would use myself.

If you’re deep in the newborn stage, this is the newborn stage advice I wish I had—now that I’m on the toddler side of motherhood.

If you’re reading this while nap-trapped under a contact-napping newborn, surviving on cold coffee and sheer willpower—welcome. I see you. I remember the bleary-eyed 3 a.m. feeds, the endless worry about ounces consumed and diaper counts, and the feeling that this intense, all-consuming phase would last forever.

And then, one day, you blink. Your baby is no longer a baby. They are a full-blown, negotiating, climbing, opinionated toddler.

Now that I’m on the other side of the infant haze, chasing a tiny person who screams “NO” as a hobby, I’ve gained a new perspective. Looking back, there’s so much I wish I could go and whisper into my exhausted, first-time-mom ears.  If you’re deep in the newborn stage, this is the newborn stage advice I wish I had—now that I’m on the toddler side of motherhood.

1. The Days Are Long, But the Years Really Are Short

You’ve heard it a million times, but it hits different when you’re watching your toddler try to put on their own shoes for the 15th time. I remember specific afternoons with my infant that felt like they would never, ever end. The crying. The bouncing on the yoga ball. The fourth outfit change of the day due to a blowout.

I wish I had known to stop wishing the time away. I was so eager for her to “get to the next stage”—to sleep longer, to sit up, to crawl. But now, I’d give anything to have her fall asleep on my chest just one more time. A soft baby carrier made those moments so much easier—especially when I needed my hands free but still wanted to keep her close.

If you can, try to sink into the boredom. The monotony is actually a fleeting moment of stillness.

2. The Phases Are Just That—Phases

My toddler woke up three times last night because she’s cutting her two-year molars and had a “bad dream” about a duck. A year ago, I would have panicked, thinking we’d “ruined” her sleep forever. I would have texted every mom friend I know in a state of panic: “She’s up again! What are we doing wrong?!”

Now I know that with babies (and toddlers), everything is a phase. The sleep regression, the nursing strike, the refusal to be put down, the screaming in the car seat—it all passes. It comes, it wreaks havoc, and then it goes, replaced by a new, equally challenging phase. Don’t cling too tightly to the good phases, and don’t despair during the hard ones. This too shall pass.

If you’re in a season where everything feels overwhelming—especially with more than one baby—you’re not alone. I share more about that emotional side in The Guilt of Raising Twins: When You Feel Like You’re Failing Both.

3. Your Baby Doesn’t Need Half the Stuff You Bought

I wish I could get back the hours I spent researching the “perfect” bottle warmer, wipe warmer, and organic muslin swaddle set. My daughter’s favorite “toy” for the first six months was an empty plastic water bottle with some rice in it.

Toddlers reinforce this lesson daily. While I stress about the fancy wooden toys, she’s more interested in the cardboard box it came in. If I could do it again, I’d buy less stuff and spend more time just lying on the floor with her, making silly faces.

4. You Are Not Creating Bad Habits

Let the baby contact nap. Hold them while they sleep. Feed them to sleep. Rock them until your arms go numb.

When my daughter was tiny, I was so terrified of creating “bad habits” that I felt guilty for doing the very things that felt natural. Now, with a toddler who is too busy exploring the world to stop for a cuddle, I realize you cannot “spoil” a newborn. You are building a foundation of security and trust. You are their safe place. And believe me, the day will come when they will wriggle out of your arms to run toward the slide, and you will miss the days they needed you so completely.

5. Comparison is the Thief of (Your) Joy

The mom groups, the apps, the well-meaning aunt asking, “Is he sleeping through the night yet?”—it’s all noise.

I drove myself insane wondering why my friend’s baby was sleeping 12 hours straight while mine was still waking up to eat. Now, watching these same babies as toddlers, you’d never know who rolled over first or who ate solids best. They all get there in their own time. Your baby is not a robot, and neither are you. Trust your gut. You know your baby better than any app or forum ever will.

6. The Baby Days Are Just the Prelude

This is the biggest piece of newborn stage advice from a toddler mom. When you have a baby, the focus is entirely on survival—sleep, feeding, physical milestones. You think that if you can just “fix” the sleep, you’ll have your life back.

Then they become toddlers, and you realize the physical exhaustion of carrying an infant has just been replaced with the mental exhaustion of keeping a tiny daredevil alive and emotionally regulated. The stakes get higher. The tantrums are louder. But so is the joy. Watching them develop a personality, crack a joke, or sing a song is the most rewarding thing in the world.

And when those toddler emotions start showing up loud and fast, learning how to respond calmly becomes everything. If you’re trying to break the cycle of yelling and respond with more intention, I created something that walks you through it step by step: Calm Boundaries, Connected Kids — a 27-page printable guide for parents. It includes real-life scripts, a simple repair process for hard moments, and tools to help you stay calm even when things feel overwhelming.

If you’re in that stage, you might also find this helpful: How to Handle Toddler Tantrums Without Yelling (Even on the Hard Days).

The View from Here

To the mom of a newborn reading this: You are doing an amazing job. The fact that you’re worried about doing it right means you already are. Soak up the newborn snuggles, give yourself grace on the hard days, and ignore the noise.

The view from the toddler side is chaotic, loud, and absolutely beautiful. And now, when I look at my “big girl,” I don’t miss the baby stage itself as much as I miss that version of me—the one who got to be her whole world for a little while.

This is the kind of newborn stage advice from a toddler mom that I wish someone had told me sooner.

One steady day at a time

Jen